Hollywood- HERE I COME!

I think I wrote in an earlier Blog entry that I have a penchant for switching career ambitions. I wish I could chalk it up to being just another confused 21 year-old without a clue as to what I want. Unfortunately, that would be a lie.

My problem is that I want to do everything.

In a perfect world I would be a main stage actor, perennial Oscar-candidate, screenwriter, basketball superstar, senator, creative director behind the award winning Coca-Cola advertising campaign, movie trailer voice, cartoon voice-over, fantasy novelist, Professional Wrestler, Rock and Roll Superstar, and President of the United States- all in one lifetime.

In fact, I have already outlined my career path that would lead to me accomplishing most of these goals.

After college I will accept an entry level job at some Advertising agency in New York. I will slowly climb the ladder and after seven years I will become a creative director. For the next three years I will create amazing, creative, entertaining, successful advertisements, earning wads of cash and making great contacts in the world of Hollywood.

These contacts are the key to my future. The directors, actors, cameramen, etc that I will meet while creating top-notch advertising will be my pawns to success. I will use these relationships to leave the advertising world and start my acting/screenwriting career.

After 15 years of successful movies, a couple Oscars, and all the women, money, and accolades I can ever hope for, it will be time to stop acting and pursue a nobler ambition. I will use my money to join that infamous "millionaire's club," or, The Senate.

I will win a Senate seat, probably in my home-state of Connecticut and serve my state and country for the next eight to twelve years. I will be the driving force behind policy that ends world hunger, provides Universal health care, and makes America the most popular and loved country in the world.

At this point there will be no stopping me.

*I will be President of the United States.

Am I unrealistic? Am I a dreamer? Well, if there's anything I've learned in my life it's that a dreamer keeps a dreaming, ages on!

To this point, the plan isn't going completely as planned. In fact, I might be changing the order of things. Instead of becoming an advertising creative director, I may very well be on my way to Hollywood stardom!

This summer, Aidan Levy and myself have embarked on a quest to write and sell a screenplay. Our first draft is complete and we are currently working on the second. Furthermore, we actually have real producers who are willing to read our script.

We've worked tirelessly thus far, editing and re-writing, discussing and philosophising, attempting to create perfect characters and dialogue. Could two, average, Jewish guys from northern CT make it big in Hollywood? Well, yea. I suppose we could.

This script better be damn good! The future of America may rest in the balance.



*Note- Matt Baram does not actually intend to ever run for President.

Junior Year Memories

Junior year has long since ended. And what a year it was.

The 2006/2007 school year was filled with laughs, tears, cringes, smiles, etc etc etc. How does it rank compared to the other 20 years of my life? Hard to tell at this point. But one thing's for certain- it was damn memorable.

In honor of the tradition I started last year, the following is a list of all the inside jokes/stories of the 2006 year. For the sake of those involved most names have been removed. But rest assured, anything that seems even potentially gross, perverted, or just out there was probably said/done by Warren, Mankorn, or myself. Enjoy!

Inside Jokes/Stories/etc from Junior Year (in no particular order):

-This is madness... This. Is. Mankorn!
-A teacher of ethics? A man who can tell the difference between right and wrong, black and white, good and evil! What can we call him but King?
-The Josh Morrow Bash
-Poor poor Josh Morrow.
-Yup, she cried.
-Naked ******
-Naked Ya'akov
-Ooh wah ooh wah oohwah.
-Sparkling Cider + Josh Morrow =
-The oar!
-Joshy, Mommy and Daddy are fighting again!
-Matt's night of mystery.
-Damn it all
-The 2/3 suited
-The bicycle
-The squirrel
-Baby Mothra
-Whenever life gets you down...
-We Are THE RIF!
-Warren's theory on various organic materials growing teeth and expressing their inner hunger.
-Weavel's gay?
-Now we know his weakness... Hmmm.....
-Teriyaki beef burritoooos
-This is a Josh-centric universe. I'm the sun and you're the moon
-I spend more time with mommy but daddy knows that i'm on his side!
-"yup, you're an idiot."
-"Douche."
-"Bat-shit crazy.
-ooooo-ooooh (pronounced "ew-ew")
-Jill: "What's that?"
-The Human Tornaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadah'
-Yes, God talks to Jesus as a bowl of cherries.
-MIKE GUSS!
-Ok, so which is more glorious- the thing u want most in life, or Josh Morrow...
-Matt- 5 Rachel- 0
-What kind of man, beast, or corn are you?
-45 freakin dollars!
-boom-shaka-laka
-yes, i kid you not, i just watched she's the man
-pink floyd lazer light show
- that a critic, of my scrupulous morality, be villified and pilloried in the stocks of common gossip!
-no Cynthia! now that i have found you!
-Brooke's bday dinner... sitting aloooone
-I've heard it all before!
-So it is... and it isn't.
-just texted by some hot hot girls
-ooooh stand, oh won't u stand, stand byyyyy meee
-insertion.
-it's the quickening! there can be only one!
-Matt- we just had the most glorious night EVER!
-ape shit
-i knoooooow! i'm so confuuuuuused!
-and lastly "BU should get double quilted toilet paper for all BU bathrooms!"

i may add some more later!